Heart Abandonded

Posted by: Karen on: October 25, 2008

• In: C3 | Family | Friends | Life | Love | Lyrics | Music | prayer
• 2 Comments

So ill stand with arms high and heart abandonded

In awe of the one who gave it all

Ill stand my sould Lord to you surrender

All I am is yours

I want to write, I just dont know what to say. Today has been a day. Not bad, not great, but needed. It has been a very nostalgic day for me. I have been reminded of people and memories, both good and bad, of the past. Yet all day these lyrics have been repeating in my head. They have been so comforting.

My old youth pastor and his wife, the ones I didnt have a problem with, are now on facebook. I finally had time to look over their profiles today. Carrie posted pictures of their daughter Annalise from when she was a baby and they were still living in PSL. There captioned indicated they have baby fever again. One comment she wrote said something about maybe God would give them another miracle baby. I was there for the news when they found out they were pregnant the first time. It was just an exciting time.  It is so awesome to see what God is doing in their lives. Jason made a comment on one of my friends walls about being asleep for so long and how God is doing great things now. It is so exciting for me to read that.

And there are other people who I grew up with who have similar stories. It just feels like we are all going through something together. Its so amazing. Because I look around at all my friends and everyone seems more on fire, ready for something big to happen. Like we are just waiting.

I am waiting… waiting and ready

It has been a day of reflection for me. I cannot wait until Sunday! I have been looking foward to it since we left last Sunday. What a difference. This time last year I wouldnt even look at a church. I felt like a didnt belong, like I was a hypocrite for being there. I am reaching the one mark of some of the darkest months in my life and now there is not even a trace of those feelings.

I am getting back to being the Me I remember. Its funny actually, I used to be the one all my friends would turn to when there was a problem. I kind of lost that role for a while. And I needed to lose it, I was in no place to be giving good healthy advice to people. But the other day, I was in the library and one of my classmates and I were talking. I worked on a few projects with her a few semesters ago, but otherwise we dont really talk. And out of nowhere she was like, can I talk to you about something personal. The fact that thought she could trust me spoke volumes. And I felt it then, I was able to give her advise and open the doors for communication. It felt so good. And all I kept thinking when she was talking to me is Love Wins.

Love wins: it has been my mantra for the last few weeks. It has gotten me through alot.

I know this post is kind of all over the place, but thats where I am right now, but it is all good stuff.

I am excited, for the first time in a long time, and I dont even know why 🙂 But I cant stop smiling inside.

Tags: Friends, Life, Love